Silent No Longer: I’m Living My Solidarity Out Loud!

I’m a Hispanic gay man, non-religious, liberal, pro-choice, vegetarian, and naturalized citizen of the United States. You’ve heard of a double whammy? Well, I’m a multiple whammy. Lately all those whammies are weighing on me like several pink elephants perched on my shoulders. It’s exhausting.

Today’s climate, both political and even societal, makes me seriously wonder if I belong in this country. That’s a heartbreaking thought because not only have I spent nearly all my life in this great country – I arrived in the US from Cuba when I was a toddler – but I’m a property-owning, hard-working, tax-paying, law-abiding member of this historic nation.

Why shouldn’t I belong here? Why shouldn’t I have the same rights everybody else has? I contribute to this society; I have been working steadily since I was 14, and I have a clean legal and financial record. I treat people like I want to be treated. I do lots of charity work – from monetary donations to volunteering my time. I firmly believe in the live and let live mantra. I’ve been with my now-husband Steve for nearly 33 years, and we have been legally married since 2019. So why shouldn’t I have the same rights everybody else has? Why shouldn’t I be here?

But the wind is ominous. The recent attack on women’s rights, both appalling and distressing, leaves no doubt that LGBTQ rights are next. I don’t fit into the white, US-born, heterosexual male, Christian, conservative mold. I never did. I never will.

What makes all this even more maddening, and saddening is that I love my life. I love my job. I love my husband. I love my family. I love our home. I love this country. As I get ready to turn 57, I have delightful dreams of peaceful retirement surrounded by loved ones and a house that we have turned into a sanctuary. I don’t want to go anywhere.

So, I am living my solidarity out loud. I am fighting the good fight with cylinders revving and megaphones buzzing. Believe me, I thought twice about writing and publishing this blog post. While I’ve never shied away from serious subjects in my Mario’s Musings blog, this one made me pause. I consulted a couple of friends and then plunged full steam ahead. To paraphrase Olympic gold medalist and National Soccer Hall of Fame athlete Abby Wambach, who said similar words in an inspiring commencement speech she recently gave to graduates of Loyola Marymount University, I am going to live my solidarity out loud.

I will not remain silent. I have re-emerged much more politically active than I have ever been, including going beyond just voting by contributing to candidates as well as joining local Democratic groups. The time has come for me to become more a part of the solution than I’ve ever tried to be. Being proactive is the most beneficial way that I combat my anxiety.

Because you know what? I want to stay legally married to my beautiful husband. I want to enjoy all the perks that everyday citizens of this country get for doing the right thing and living their lives without infringing on anybody else’s. I want to belong here.

I’m a Hispanic gay man, non-religious, liberal, pro-choice, vegetarian, and naturalized citizen of the United States. I’m here to stay.